3 Mindset Shifts You Must Make to Accomplish Your Weight Loss Goals

Mindset

Mar 27

3 Shifts You Must Make to lose weight.png

Yikes, that sounds dramatic…you MUST make these mindset shifts if you want to crush your weight loss goals?

Um, yes. Absolutely. 100%.

Feel like you’re fighting against yourself? You want to lose weight so bad but then, tacos? You do well for a few days, a few weeks, maybe even a few months, but you can’t seem to keep the weight off long term?

That’s a mindset issue sista! And it ain't just you!! We're all struggling with the same basic mindset issues, they're just packaged up a bit differently.

So, how do we get to the bottom of this? By talking about the hard stuff that really matters!

But nobody talks about the hard truths of weight loss. Because it’s not always pleasant and feel-good when we get down to business.

It's easier to argue about what the best diet is or try to find the best workout than it is to look at what we may be doing to sabotage ourselves! So we look at all these tiny details about weight loss that really don’t make a difference anyway if we can’t stick with them.

Instead of saying fluffy things like “make lifestyle changes”, “eat less and move more” & “your why has to be bigger than your excuses” ...

Which I’m not knocking, these are all things that need to happen but...

It’s just that there are a few grittier things we need to really understand. And when we make these mindset shifts, it’s kinda like magic.

It might take you some time to put these into practice in real life, but it’s worth the effort because once you lock these in place, the rest of the journey is less of a struggle.

Ready to stop fighting against your own goals? Then we gotta have some real talk. Not fluffy make ya feel-good stuff, but I know you’re ready for this. Because if you’re here, you’ve probably already failed with the fluffy stuff and you’re ready for a little truth, even if it’s not fun…

So let’s keep it real.

Side note: you can definitely lose weight without knowing these 3 three things, but it will be a struggle to do it. You will have much less resistance to keeping weight off if you understand these concepts. These are essential and once you get it, like really GET IT, your resolve for sticking with your weight loss plan will be night and day from where it is now.

Learn the art of delayed gratification

THE.BEST.GIFT. bar none for your entire life, not just your weight loss, is knowing how to delay gratification!

In our world of abundance and having what you want - when you want it, delayed gratification is a dying art. I get it. I am a woman who knows what she wants, and usually gets what she wants, right when she wants it. 😉 Even to the detriment of myself.

What we want at the moment is often contradictory to what we truly want in the long run. We don’t think big picture, we think…what will make me feel good now?

This cheeseburger looks great, so I’ll worry about my cholesterol tomorrow.

Our desire to decrease discomfort is a natural reaction and it's one that would have served us well from an ancestral standpoint. Back when the world was more dangerous, and food was more scarce our being wired to want more calorie-dense foods and sloth out to conserve energy would have helped us.

Only now, we have way more leisure time than years past, and an abundance of delectable foods that can literally show up at our door within 30 minutes with no work required of us! It’s amazing and terrible all at the same time.

We move less and we have more access to food. How do we combat this environment that is setting us up for failure?

The fact of the matter is that we have to learn to say no to some things or at least delay the enjoyment of them. If we succumb to every little desire we have, we’ll all be fat, broke, and divorced in no time! We can’t do what we want, when we want, in any area of life and we know this.

>>> We can’t buy things that are outside of our means and expect to have stable finances.

>>> We can’t behave in any manner we wish when we’re married and expect to have a strong and healthy marriage.

>>> We can’t behave in ways that are only good for ourselves and expect to have a strong society.

>>> We can’t do whatever we want, ignoring God’s expectations and think “Well I’m a good person so it’s fine” and expect to have a great relationship with the Lord.

We know this to be true and we accept this. Yet, when it comes to our health, we do not show the same constraint. We feel as if the urges we have are somehow uncontrollable, or that our situation is somehow different from the people around us who are managing a healthy lifestyle. (More on that in the to come).

But really, we need to learn the art of delayed gratification. When we do, it will serve us well in every aspect of our lives. Not just our weight loss goals.

3 Tips to Master Delayed Gratification:

These are by no means the best or only ways to practice delaying gratification, they’re just the ones I have the most experience with personally.

# 1 - Not right now

Instead of telling yourself, I can’t have that, tell yourself not right now. First of all, this is more accurate, since it’s just not true that for the rest of your life you’re not going to have your favorite junk food. That shouldn’t even be the goal. The goal is to have it less often.

Don’t vilify your favorite treat, instead, recognize that it brings you pleasure and can be enjoyed sometimes. But right now, the thing that will bring you ultimate satisfaction isn’t found inside delicious food, it’ll be found in hitting your weight loss goals. And that food won’t help get you to your goal. So, you’re saying not right now. But you’ll have it later.

When we tell ourselves we “can’t” have something, we want it all the more! When you tell yourself, not right now, it’s easier to push it aside and move on with your day.

It’s not “I can’t have this”…

it’s “ not right now”.

It’s a simple mindset shift but it’s POWERFUL. Try it out!

# 2 - Take 10

This is a tip I give in my 5 Hacks to stop Snacking Guide and it works like a charm!

A lot of times when we want to eat or snack, we're not actually hungry, there's something else going on. We're bored, stressed, or the food is just sitting there and we're mindlessly eating.

Instead of eating right when the urge strikes, especially when you know you shouldn't be hungry or you're craving something junky, drink a glass of water, occupy yourself and wait 10 minutes. Often times the urge to indulge will pass. Clean the house, phone a friend, read a book, anything to occupy yourself for a few minutes.

# 3 - Fasting

Fasting is the ultimate form of delayed gratification training.

Ok, I’m not a huge fan of people fasting for weight loss. Instead of going without food to lose weight, it’s more important to learn how to eat and maintain a healthy weight.

I do believe there are some amazing health benefits to fasting OCCASSIONALLY, but more research is needed. And weight loss isn’t the top of my reasons to fast.

However, there is one undeniable thing about fasting…

Nothing teaches you delayed gratification better!

Now, if you have an eating disorder, either currently or in the past, you should never ever implement fasting. It’s just not worth the slippery slope it puts you on. And there are many medical conditions and medications that prevent people from fasting, so it’s definitely a convo that you need to have with your doc.

For everyone else, it can be a great tool for developing discipline and self-control.

2 things happen when you fast...

#1 - You become stronger at saying no to your urges. If you can turn down food when you’re really hungry, you can certainly get better at turning down junk food when you’re not ;-)

#2 - You learn that hunger does not in fact continue to grow and grow until you turn into an insatiable monster like diet culture would have you believe.

How many times have you been told you need to eat every 2 hours or you’ll lose control and pig out at your next meal? Ok, that happens if you aren't planning to go without food, become super hungry, and go eat a bunch of junk in the middle of that hunger fit.

What happens when you go past that point? When you go for a while without food your hunger pains go away!

You get tired and hungry for a minute. And when you fight past that point, your hunger goes away and you actually get more energy. It’s the strangest thing, but it makes complete sense from an evolutionary standpoint. I won’t get into all this now or we’ll be here all day.

Just my opinion here, but I think the reason fasting is included in every major religion on this planet is that yes, it has some health benefits, but it’s the ultimate form of delayed gratification training.

What do all major religions teach? That the whole world doesn’t revolve around you and that you need to be good to those around you. To live an altruistic life will mean denying one’s self and placing the needs of others above the needs of ourselves. To do so, we need to learn discipline and self-control.

I view this as a training tool in self-control. That’s just my own two sense. I’m certainly not an expert on the matter and I’m not saying it’s a good option for everyone. I just know how transformative it was for me personally.

I use my time fasting to pray to God and cleanse my body, I had no idea how much I would learn about self-control and about how hunger actually works.

No matter how you go about working that muscle of delayed gratification, it is definitely a key discipline for living a healthy lifestyle on all fronts. Practice, practice, practice!

Own it!

Taking full responsibility for your journey

There are 2 facts you MUST accept if you’re going to make this weight loss thing happen…

1 – You are perfectly capable of losing weight and keeping it off.

2 – It is 100% your responsibility to do so, nobody can do it for you.

Your life, your body, your responsibility. It is completely up to you to lose this weight. Now, getting guidance from a coach, a mentor, or a trainer is SMART and I highly recommend it. Just because it’s up to you doesn’t mean you can’t seek expert council and have hired accountability.

Don’t make the journey harder than it needs to be by going it alone, you have nothing to prove here. Just find a path that works, with whatever resources you need, and get the job done.

But here’s the deal, your coach can’t lose it for you. Your weight loss program can’t lose it for you. Your personal trainer can’t lose it for you.

These are guides and tools to ensure that your action plan is safe and effective. Something you can trust because it’s gotten results time and time again. This means it can work for you too…

IF YOU DO THE WORK.

Nothing works for someone who doesn’t do the work! There’s no magic pill, no magic person, no magic program that is somehow going to take out the hard work part of this equation.

If you give up, that’s on you. Not anyone else. Own it.

It’s your job to find the right way to do it or to find the right person or program to guide you. It’s your job to make the necessary mindset changes that will be required to keep the weight off. (Anyone who isn’t talking to you about mindset isn’t giving you the full picture). It’s your job to assess your efforts and make changes.

If this thing is going to work, it’s going to be because you took ownership of the situation and DECIDED that you are going to get there no matter what. You’re not trying it out, you’re making it happen.

Committed. All in. And totally up to you.

And you are CAPABLE of doing this. But you must believe it. Because if you do not truly believe that you can do this, you’re going to sabotage yourself every time something gets difficult. You will see your trials as confirmation that you were right, and that you can’t do this, instead of seeing them as opportunities for growth.

Here’s a little exercise you can do to help with your belief.

Write down all of the reasons you haven’t been able to lose weight so far. What are all of the excuses you use to let yourself off the hook from getting what you want?

Step number 2 is to find a way to turn those excuses into reasons why you should do it, or at least find a way to solve that problem. What we're achieving here is a reframing of the way we think about our excuses so we can move past them instead of letting them be the thing that keeps us stuck.

I’ll give you a few examples from my own life, or ones that are common with the women I work with but don’t just use these. Really sit and think about what trips you up each time you’ve tried to lose weight in the past.

>>> I don’t have time.

Solution: Stop being a victim to your calendar. You decide what your schedule is (usually). Make time for your health by saying “no” to some other things. Start to prioritize the little bit of extra time it might take to add in a healthy habit and scheduling that into your calendar.

Or, find simple things that aren’t time-consuming that you can add-in. Perhaps it’s getting up and moving every hour if you have a desk job. Or taking 30 minutes on your day off to batch cook a recipe for lunch to feed you all week when you have to work.

Little action steps that you make on a consistent basis can get you farther on your journey than you think. This picture shows a few things you can focus on to improve your health and lose weight that aren't that time-consuming. Pick one, lock it down, then add another!

Mindset shift:

From - I'm too busy to lose weight.

To - I’m so busy, I don’t have time to be run down and doing life with my tank half full. And I certainly don’t have time for sick days. I MUST make the effort to take better care of myself so I’m healthy enough to do everything I need to do.

Because the truth is that you make time for health now, or illness forces you to take the time later. And we've all got the same 24 hours in a day, use it wisely.

>>> I just have bad genes

Some people are blessed with faster metabolisms or naturally leaner body types. You may not have the body type you wish you did, me either. We can't control our height, the width of our hips, or how big our boobs are, but we can control how much extra adipose tissue we have on our bodies. Some of us have to work harder at it than others, but it's possible for everyone to live at a healthy weight. That healthy weight is just different for every person.

Can you lose weight if you are genetically prone to obesity?

Yes - Genes load the gun, lifestyle pulls the trigger.

What does this mean?

Certain genes are what they are and we can’t change them, like the color of your eyes. But some genes depend largely on our environment to determine how they will be expressed. Epigenetics work like little light switches to turn certain genes on and off. You may have some genes that make weight loss more of a struggle than it is for your friend, but you still have the capability to lose weight.

Some people will naturally struggle to keep weight on, some will struggle to keep it off. Some will build muscle easily, some will have to work really hard to build even a little muscle.

Being built like a stick figure may not be in the cards for you because of your natural body type, but you can have a healthy fit body no matter your natural body type. We can all work to be healthy and strong, and strong is sexy, lady!!!

You can’t change your bone structure, your height, or how wide your hip bones are set, but you can change how much adipose tissue is on your body. You can’t pick exactly what your body will look like, but you can obtain a healthy weight and do life in a body you love.

Mindset shift:

From - I can't lose weight, being overweight runs in my family.

To - I control how much extra weight I'm carrying around, my path to getting there might just look different than someone else’s.

>>> I don’t know what to do

Solution: Learn! There’s so much free information out there and so many good mentors you can hire. So learn it on your own, or hire someone to go on this journey with you. Either way, don’t wait for the perfect plan or until you’re a genius at health and wellness…just get moving! Learn it, get a plan together, and take action.

Mindset shift:

From - I don't know what to do to lose weight.

To - I'm not sure what to do, so I'm going to figure it out and make it happen!

Almost any diet out there is better than the Standard American diet and the best type of exercise is the one you enjoy. Don’t overthink it! Realize that ANYTHING you do is going to be better than doing nothing, and I bet you know a million little things you could start right now to get yourself moving in the right direction.

Health and weight loss are a continuum. You don't have to know how to get to the best place you could possibly be, just start moving in the right direction.

All or Nothing thinking is a trap

And while we’re at it, short-term thinking is also a trap. You’ve gotta play the long game.

You’re following a strict diet, and ya mess up. Well, since I already had French fries today, I may as well eat this ice cream, have a glass of wine, and some mac n cheese, and start again tomorrow.

Have you done this? Because I know I sure have. It’s all or nothing thinking. If I’m off, I’m all the way off and if I’m on, I’m all the way on.

But this is thinking based on false notions, and it sabotages our weight loss efforts!

Let me break it down…

Our brains plan in 24-hour periods as a simple way to structure things. The problem is that your body doesn’t operate, in regards to weight loss, on just a 24 hour time frame. It’s cumulative. It's not just what you eat today that determines your weight loss, it's a combination of what you do today and every other day, averaged out, that will determine your weight loss.

The ultimate goal with weight loss is to take in less energy than you spend, so your body will burn the energy it has stored up - your fat. Now, I’ve seen a ton of women do this without counting a thing, simply by switching to a whole food diet which enables a natural reduction in calories. So, you are cutting calories, you just aren’t necessarily aware of it or tracking it. And this is my preferred place to start a weight loss journey.

For the point I’m trying to make, we need to talk about calories for it to make sense. So let’s pretend that you’re trying to have a 3500 calorie deficit each week to lose about a pound a week. This would mean that on an average day you’re cutting 500 calories from whatever your maintenance calories are.

Now, let’s say one day you go over by 200 calories. To hit your weight loss goals you would need to make up that 200 calories elsewhere throughout the week, which would be easy enough to do. But even if you don’t, you’re still going to lose weight, it just might not be quite as much.

If you look at your tracker and see that you’re already over by 200 calories for the day and you think "Well screw it, I already messed today up" and decide to binge and have another 500 calories you’re doing way more damage to your goals.

The 200 calories wouldn’t have been that big of a deal. It was easy to either adjust other days that week to stay on track or even not worry about it, because you would still be super close to your weekly goal.

But, when you binge, you’ve made hitting your goal for the week much harder, and you’ve taken yourself that much farther from your goals. Instead of trying to have every day be perfect, start to think about what your weekly average looks like. If it's all about the average for the week, a little slip up here and there is no biggie and it doesn’t take you totally off the rails.

The slip-up is only fatal to our plan if we let it throw us off even further. We use that one little slip as an excuse to make bigger slips because of our "all or nothing" thinking.

Do not think about your goals as all or none on a daily basis, begin to think about the average of what you’re putting in your body. If you have something you "weren't supposed to" don’t let it throw you completely off your plan for the remainder of the day and just "start over tomorrow". Tomorrow isn't some magical new day. Just keep going where you're at in this moment.

Nobody will eat perfectly all of the time. But learning how to have a little something that doesn’t fit your plan without letting it take you completely off the rails is the difference between finding success and struggling with the same weight forever.

If you wait until you can perfectly adhere to a diet plan to hit your goals, good luck dieting for the rest of your life. You will not be perfect but you can still hit your goals! But, only if you stop letting yourself “off the hook” for the entire day, weekend, or week, once you’ve “broken” your diet plan.

This concept is also true with exercise. It may not seem like much to “hit your 10,000 steps” each day, but your daily activity is a huge contributor to weight loss. We tend to think that only brutal workouts will lead to fat loss. This is just not true!

People who are active throughout the day, moving around, even fidgeting, can burn more calories than people who are sedentary. In fact, oftentimes when people start a workout program, they decrease their daily energy output by moving less for the rest of the day. Not on purpose, of course, ya just do it. This can actually negate some of the benefits of the workouts.

The point is that the energy you spend isn’t all or nothing either. Finding ways to increase your activity throughout the day can make a bigger impact than you think, even if you don’t have time to go crush it in the gym.

Simple strategies like setting a timer to get up and walk around if you have a desk job, taking the stairs instead of the elevator when you have the chance, or adding a walk to your evening routine can all have an impact on your weight loss over time.

And if you miss a planned workout, you don't throw in the towel for the rest of the week to start over next week. It's one day missed, no biggie, proceed as planned!